I took the first one today. What possessed me to take it at lunch time. At work. I am totally messed up now. One minute out of it, the next clowning around and now I have this totally detatched sense of self. Like the depression symptoms only 100 times over. I can't assimilate what people are saying and to be honest even writing this is agonisingly difficult. This all kicked in two minutes after i took the tablet. And I have only taken one so far.
My sense of self preservation has taken a knock, I feel I could hurt myself easily now or worse. My head is muzzy and I feel sick.
How the hell do I cope with this, how do I sort out a seperation/divorce or make right decisions. This is desperate.
I had an idea this morning to try to make an advance on the divorce settlement as she suggested so she could get a place - but arranged through the solicitors so it was all legal and part of the settlement. Now my confidence is so shot couldnt even pick up the phone.
Now I KNOW they take a while to settle down and I will give it a chance. But I won't take any walks near cliff edges at the moment - I don't trust myself in this state.
What I will try in a minute is my normal walk in the park - maybe my head will clear. I will check in later to prove I'm still around.
A
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