conscious

I freaked sometime today - took about 30mg of valium - all i could find. have been comatose apart from weird dreams all afternoon 0 came too at 11 pm very groggy.
Tried to talk to her she doesnt give a shit - just told me to go away because was spoiling her sleep.

I wish hadnt woken up it was a really blisfull state - is death like that?

I cut myslef to ribbons trying to feel again. nothing. no pain but loads of blood.

wish i had succeeded - after all none of them are my family they dont give a shit. Im better off dead
A