I spoke too soon in my earlier post. The day ended up crap. The woman formerly known as my wife has gone out with her boyfrined tonight. " Don't wait up, Don't put the front door chain on - I'll be late" I am SO tempted to bolt that door - but the resulting scene will mess with my son's head.
I am struggling with raging anger and frustration. I don't love her. But I can't stand being made a fool of. I have my son here so I will keep it in. All in. I will behave and keep him safe. But what will happen in my head? Outside I will be normal but inside - turmoil, rage. If I don't express myself in words I will explode and hurt myself.
This cannot go on. It can NOT. Why the hell dosn't she actually leave? She keeps threatening to - like it;s something I wouldn't want. The power has gone out of those threats so why not leave?
She is doing her best to destroy me and she is succeeding, I am getting more and more ill, physically and mentally.
A
No comments:
Post a Comment