She's away. An evening without her! bliss!
Of course she still managed to hurt me. Just after I posted the last entry in here at lunchtime I went up to the bedroom. She had forgotten (accidently or deliberately?) to take her hand bag. Two more condoms. It hurt just as much as before and I spent the rest of the afternoon unable to concentrate for more than 5 minutes at a time. The pressure in my head building fast. Somehow I manage not to let my colleagues see how I am - although how long can I hand my slashed arms? I got home, couldn't cope with anyone. Went upstairs and searched again. A few more letters and diary entries but nothing significant. I am getting obsessed with this!.
No walk today. I had to cook for younger son. Or at least we went for a chinese - I couldn't find the energy to cook. So I ate too much and I feel like a hippo now. No cutting yet today though - maybe I can make it through, but I'm not in bed yet.
Spoke to mum, she is getting worried about me although I am guarded about what I say. Spoke to Paul, he has just moved into his new house - or at least the house that will become his wifes. He has an offer in on a house elsewhere. We somehow managed to make each other laugh despite our misfortunes.I like Paul, he's a good friend.
The prostate, which has been quiet for three days now is starting to grumble again - every time it stops hurting I think it's over - then it starts again.
No music recorded today either. So not much achieved - except a bit more weight put on.
I'm supposed to update our vicar with how I am, so I ought to send him an email
Love
Auntie
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