Panicky

I don't feel so good again now. I went to church which was OK ,though I felt a bit panicky dealing with people and was somewhat hyper. The ones I am close to would be shocked if they knew the full story, and I tried to look 'normal' for everyone else. Probably not what I should have done but it's a struggle.
It was a good service, the end of childrens holiday club and it was very lively and cheerful. So I settled down and I was OK. Until I left. As soon as I left the building I got panicky. I remember walking at great speed. I stuck being at home just long enough to have lunch and went out for a walk in the park. I'll be fit at this rate, especiallly walking at the ridiculous pace I walk at.

I spoke to mum on the phone whilst I was in the park, she is not well. Apparently if she lays down she loses her balance and can't get up again. She is also losing weight. I am worried about her.

So tonight I am going to the evening townwide service. I haven't been for ages and again feel panicky, but I will go, it might do some good.