Even keel?

That's what my vicar said I was on today. I suppose I am a bit better. I haven't cut for three days now (though I really want to) and I am cheerful at times - it sometimes seems that I am cheerful when I shouldn't be and vice versa.

I went to my church music practice today and was alright once I was there - although I got panicky before hand once again. I even went over to the vicarage with the others for a few glasses (in my case of orange juice).

So I guess the happy pills are helping a bit. They do however have other effects. I have no sexual function whatsoever now. Nothing works. But then again I have had no prostate pain either and I wonder if there is a relationship between these facts. Even so that is getting to me a lot.

I am very tired though. All this stuff with our eldest has meant I have not been sleeping again. This afternoon I flaked out for an hour on the sofa which was bliss.

So now it is 11.30 uk time and I am home. Her niece is here. Usually we get on but there is a strange atmosphere. I mean even for here there is a strange atmosphere! She doesn't seem to want to talk to me which is odd.

Now I know this is a disjointed update but one other thing happened yesterday which I should tell you. Katie joined my friend list on Facebook. Yes really. But she is seeing someone else, it is serious and there are pictures of them together so it's a bit heartbreaking. I was so pleased initially to hear from her but then I felt hurt again. I think I should have just ignored her but it's done now.

Thats all for now
Hugs & kisses
Alice